Untitled

He put the surfboard in the back of his truck and took off.

He was stoked because he heard that there would be off-shore winds and about six to eight foot waves.

That would be just about perfect in his mind.

It was 4:30 a.m, and still dark.

When he got there, the ocean was like glass, he was a little disappointed. Sun was just peaking over the horizon. He watched and waited for the next set.

There it was... the beauty of the ocean, kicking in some off-shore winds, slight spray at the top of the wave, causing it to break just right.....

It was like looking at Rincon.

He watched a few more sets and then, he paddled out. No wet suit needed today. It was a warm 65.

Out there, on the crust, waiting on the back of his board, he closed his eyes...

Not a single soul was there.... yet.

And it was so quiet he could hear the waves building behind him. It was awesome.

He opened his eyes just in time to see the swell, it was bigger then he thought, rushing up behind him.

All he wanted to do was try to catch a little shoulder....

As he did, he dropped in and took off. He turned and got inside a little...awesome ride

As he came out, the waved bottomed so he baled ...

Good ride, he thought as he paddled back out.  Need about 25 more like this today before I even think about leaving.......


This was the only time he could clear his head, being one with the ocean was something explainable.

It would be about noon before he was done. He threw his board in the back of his truck and drove home.

There wouldn't be much to say when he got home. He was spent and he was in the zone.

He had left his cell phone on the kitchen counter, and it was blowing up.

"No," he said out loud. "You're not ruining my day today!"

He picked up the cell phone and dialed a number.

Hi

Hi, whatcha' doing?

Waiting for you. You need to come over here, right now....

Then, he turned his cell phone off. He went to take a shower and before he was done she was climbing in the shower with him.

Where's Sara? she asked him as she climbed in.

Sara? Sara who?  I don't care about her. Don't want to hear her name, not again. Don't bring her up and spoil this...

Sorry, she said. When they were done, he decided to tell her what happened. Sara had cheated on him. There would be no more Sara. She had been calling him non-stop since his best friend told him.

Besides, why would you care if I was still with Sara, don't you want me for yourself??

Of course, she said, embarrassed. She wanted him more then anything. But not like this. Not on the rebound.

Look, you're awesome and I really like you...

Oh yeah, he laughed and put his hand on her neck.

Yes, she laughed...but I don't want you like this...

Why? Don't you think I care about you?

No, I know you do. I just think there should be some time between Sara and I....

Seriously?

yes

Then do what you gotta do...

She got up and looked at him. You know, I'll be back.

Whatever you say...

she waved at him as she turned to go out the door.

he looked troubled

He went back to his cell phone and turned it on. There she was calling him again.

"Sara, stop calling me. It's not going to do you any good." And he hung up.




May 24, 2013.

The Love Trap

I'm in a love trap....

Anyone know what that is? It's like being half way

between here __________  and _________________ there,  ya' get me?

I'm mean, I'm not here anymore and that's a really good thing

But I'm not quite there yet, ya' know what I mean?

It's like having the chocolate shake with the whip cream and cherry

And you slurp up the chocolate, hmmm and it's good, no, it's really good, don't get me wrong, but you find

that  you haven't nor will

you now or until you reach there, will you get to touch or better yet, get to taste 

that whip cream and cherry.... damn...sort of a let down; BUT NOT REALLY! You had the chocolate

shake, FREAK!

It's like being between "okay" and "really good" to being "soooooo good" to

being, "ahhhh, sooo sooo sooo sooo good" , pardon me while I breath....(clearing throat)

That's a love trap. 

There's this beginning where ummm, things are kind of up in the air,

yeah, you see, it's the here or the beginning

Then there's the half way mark, well, half way or so,

and things are really good!  I really like being in the love trap! I like being here, half way.  I haven't had

better days EVER! I can honestly say that.

I'm soooooo excited to see what comes my way...

I mean, love is awesome and powerful and makes you do great things,

but it could also make you do stupid things...but we won't go into that.

Today, we are in the zone.... the love trap zone....

Nothing can go wrong, right? Right?

I get that you're not as excited as I am...well, you gotta be there to be excited...

I mean, things can goooo wrong. I mean, something could happen; change of heart, change of mind, change

of something.....NAW, but not likely!!  Not now, not when we're like

 not here ________________but here, love trapped!

When you're in this love trap, you've been there awhile, and at this point, you're kinda' trapped there.

I mean, they got you. They got your mind. They got your spirit. They got your soul. Pretty much,

they got your body. What's left?

I'm not complaining. Far be it for me to complain, when I got mine, got him, got somethin'.....

What else is there?

But I do want to get there. Just not sure how long it takes to get there. But, kind of like being here.

I'm always motivated. I've always got the love-bug biting me... oh that's something else entirely....

So, I think I'm really okay. In fact, I'm not just okay I'm loving every single second that I am in

this love trap. Really!!!!

Ya' get me?



May 23, 2013

Love Music

He was going to miss her, even if he didn't want to

he tried not to think of her but she kept popping into his head

Was it her smile, her crazy mischievous smile that seemed to just grab at his soul

Was it the twinkle in her eyes, that danced all over his face

Damn, Stop!

he was driving home.  Didn't need this distraction.  Music playing on the radio...

The "love music" she called it

He chuckled.

Love....... something he hadn't had in a long time.

Real, real love. It was a scarce commodity.

Meeting someone that you were attracted to was easy

but staying in that cool, romantic, loving place was hard

But her, she seemed to find that place in his mind...

The love music drifting along the air....


"God bless you
You made me feel brand new
For God bless me with you
You made me feel brand new
I sing this song for you"

So that's what it  had come to...

he pulled into the driveway..

He would have to call her, tell her something, anything.

maybe this time he would confess

maybe this time he would ask her to coffee or to dinner

where he could just stare at her as she made him feel , really feel...

He walked into the house. All was quiet. He looked at his phone, 

put it down and sat on the couch, 

laying his head back he closed his eyes...

she would be there, still waiting...

he had no doubts about the way he felt

or about the way she felt

it was all worth waiting for....

and somewhere he could hear the "love music" playing....

and that's what it had come to....




May 22, 2013

A Complication

She knew at that moment that it was hopeless

it was just that ever so slight, little slip that let her know

he was taken.

her heart sunk as she tried to make sense of it all

but her mind was jumbled, nothing was coming together

he was talking to her and she couldn't hear him

Then she stood up and announced , "I'm going to faint".

the regurgitated food had already made it's way to her throat

she gagged and then she felt the world spin

NO, she screamed in her mind

don't let this be happening to me

she struggled to keep her balance and not throw up

her thoughts racing, how could I not know this??

She tried to go back and remember little things

clues or stories; anything that he said that would give her

some indication that he was  ......

and before she knew it, tears had come and slowly made

their way down her cheeks

I'm a real mess, she said out loud.

But he was confused..

What's wrong? he asked

Her words were like puzzles all jumbled up coming out of her mouth

I need to go now. I need to go, I need liquor. I need to find

somewhere to get drunk, she said.

She tried to control her feelings that seemed to erupt like a volcano all over the place.

Why? Why get drunk? What's wrong? What happened?

She couldn't even answer him.

She just knew that he had not told her and made her think,

made her feel , made her want , made her believe that he wanted

her too

She bent over and put her face in her hands and cried like a baby

He tried to comfort her, but she brushed him away.

"Go", she said, "go to her...please".....she caught her breath...

"You're  pathetic and a liar and

you made me think that we had something and and and...."

She stood up.

And, I'm done. Go find someone else who will love you and cherish you and

sleep with you and give you all of their everything and then find out that

this whole time you were sleeping with .....

Go! she screamed.

He got up from the bench and couldn't even look at her.

she sat back down and cried like she never had cried before

she cried for every passionate kiss they ever had

and everything that she had given him

she cried so hard she fell onto the grass and laid

with the bugs and cried out loud, staring at the sky

while the tears ran down her face and watered the dry ground

when she was done it was dark

she would walk home and then she would pick up the phone

and ask him to come back. And he would.

And she would cry again, in his arms

because love is not simple it's complicated....

And even though it seemed they had come to an understanding

he would leave her once again.

and it would be the way it was....



May 20, 2013

Lessons

It's a good thing to be able to still be learning stuff..

I mean, if you ain't learning, well, you ain't  growing, right?

Well, good thing I've learned some pretty hard lessons throughout 

my life which has helped me grow immensely.


Some, I wish I didn't have to learn...

like being arrested when I was 18 for being Under the Influence 

  .. .  oh and JAIL IS NOT FUN!

(contrary to what others would have you believe)


That lesson didn't need to be learned,  since I never really

drank before. I had gone to a friend's wedding.  They had some 

cute little dixie cups filled with champagne...Tasted like Kool-

Aid to me!   Well.... how was I to know that I would get so 

drunk, I'd be throwing up all the next day...ugh, NEVER, NEVER

AGAIN!

(And getting your parents to drive to San Diego to get you out of jail... put that on your list, if you're still alive after that; NEVER HAVE TO CALL YOUR PARENTS TO GET YOU OUT OF JAIL!)

See, that's what I'm talking about...

Now that was a LESSON, right ! 



So, I'm still learnin'. I mean, the lessons I'm learning now are 

a little more tame. Now it's all about relationships and 

friendships. I like that. It's not so traumatizing. Don't even 

like that word.



Something I learned recently is about friendships.  I'm lucky I

learned this in time. Having friends and keeping

them is like having a community chest full of money. Friends just

keep giving. They love you and support you. They comfort you. 

Without my friends, I wouldn't be doing this today. So for those

of you who know who you are, thank you for being there. You are

my inspiration! 


See, some lessons we learn seem harsh and sudden. While others

kind of sneak up on you. Nonetheless, they are lessons and we 

have to be ready for them and willing to learn. Otherwise, you'll 

be repeating that shit, and you won't like it the second, third 

and forth time....

too late

It's late. I really should be asleep. You know, another busy day tomorrow. 

I keep thinking about what I could have done, should have done, could not have done , didn't do and what I did. Oh, please, let's not talk about it. 

Sometimes we do dumb stuff. It happens. I can't take it back. I meant it what I said. And, it still hurts today. Feelings and mistakes getting in the way of friendships and complicated crap creeping it's way into my simple life. 

I did apologize. But what he doesn't know is I cried. Well, why the hell not.

It was just a small thing. Keeps on pushing it's way back into my mind. Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes. I want it to go away. 

It won't.


April 2013

Who would have thought..

Just when I thought when all else fails, throw out the bathwater with the baby and start all over... I realize I'm telling myself bad stories again and maybe, just maybe this is going to be a good story. A happy ending.

How is that possible? I have no idea, since I haven't had a happy ending in months, years, oh com'on, let's be honest, it's been a frickin' long ass time. How could I possibly have even a concept of a happy time? huh.

I'll take a swig of my Heine and contemplate. Hmmm, it's relative, is it not? I mean my happiness right now is a beer, whining on Facebook, and Twitter and maybe getting a call from a certain someone. That's definitely not your idea of happiness. But it's come to me recently, that it's the small, ever so tiny things that make all the difference in the world.

I mean, I cry because the girl and guy realize they love each other at the end of the movie. No, I just don't cry, I hysterically ball my eyes out. I'm pathetically emotionally challenged. Until I can get past this weakness, I'm doomed.

But, somehow, the path that I am on right now, seems more right, more real, more of what I've wanted my entire life, then ever before. A happy ending?  Here they come....tears of !!!!



May 1, 2013

don't leave me

You're trying not to cry but it just comes

You make a face and hope that you can hide from

He tells you that he'll see you and to wait for him next time, 

You turn around and see him as he let's go of your love line.

Don't leave me waiting

Don't leave me dying

Don't leave me crying

Don't leave me alone.....

You're trying not to cry.....




May 6, 2013

Love Sucks

love stinks

and it hurts

and it sucks

what else?

it makes for great writing material!

still sucks

we must all love the misery...since we all fall in love at some point in our lives

oh, I don't want to hear about the good stuff about love...everyone knows all that and who cares anyway

we all love a good heart wrenching, tear-jerker love story

He hates her then somehow begins to fall in love with her. Huh? All the while she's in love with someone else.

He loves her forever but gives up eventually and that is when she suddenly realizes that she loves him too. But too late, he's moved on, chow baby.

He's planning a future with the future miss when she suddenly becomes ill or gets hit by a car, sad but true. At the funeral he meets HER (the love of his life)
again...and somehow before the end of the most horrible day, they express their undying love for each other... the happy ending tears forever and ever...

See, love sucks

NO, it really does


May, 2013

Gossip

it was mean and cruel

why it was even said aloud made no sense

the knife cut her deep

no one could see she was bleeding inside

the pain almost unbearable to hide

but she did not speak a word

and when it became something that was talked about openly

she felt that pain each time 

the saddest part about it, 

she couldn't stop it

and she couldn't tell him

he couldn't know 

how she was hurting or why

she would do anything to protect him

but he was wise and sensed the unevenness

he knew what he had to do

he told her, " be strong, they'll never hurt us.."

"I don't care what they say, it won't change the way we feel.." 

and then he used the saboteurs' knife in the only way he could

and cut them all with the sharpness of his tongue

until they lay bleeding on the floor...

it was later said that gossip 

was their demise and

the cruel joke that they perpetuated

was set upon them, such a deadly lesson

to be learned

ah, yes indeed. 

Gossip

5/18/13

About Me

About me:

I live in sunny California, near the Pacific Ocean but actually a native of Omaha, Nebraska. 

I work a regular job but have been writing since I was 14 years old. Always fascinated with journalism and politics, I thought one day I would become a foreign correspondent or run for office but that never came to fruition as I didn't like traveling as much as I thought I would! And the older I got the more Politics just  scared me!

I married  Steve Jacobs, an amateur surfer, when I was young. He taught me how to love life and live in the moment. We surfed from coast to coast and got to know the sort of vagabond life the surfer lives. We had two children.

Later, I lived with Larry Harris, as those were the days when marriage was not as hip as "living together" . He is absolutely the most talented artist, and Art Director. And we had two more children. 

And then later I married Reggie Bannister, Actor and Musician. Our life was very exciting and filled with the most interesting people. Many weekends spent having "house parties" with musicians abound, singing, playing and jamming, when Reggie wasn't making a movie. 

Which leads me here today. 

I love writing short stories, mysteries and romance. I have permanent writers block and have written well over 20 stories, novellas, plays or books that have not been finished yet. At any one time, you can find me working on any of them.  Inspiration comes from all around me.

If there is one thing I have learned in life is that you only have this life. Live your life to the fullest and NEVER regret......

Contact me on Facebook or Twitter. www.facebook.com/gayle.bannister and or www.twitter.com and seach Gayle Bannister. 

Joke

It was only a joke

a small one at that

but it made me think of him in a different way

i laughed, surely he was joking

when he appeared he smiled at me

the kind of smile that says, i really like you

I know that smile

I've seen it on many

he continued with the teasing

ahhh, my imagination was going wild

does he know what he does to me?

we joked all the way out the door

my last words were..." you're the one hurtin', honey, because you know you want it bad..."

we both laughed

the tension between us is almost unbearable

but it was only a joke

I keep telling myself

only a joke......








5/18/13

falling

I threw my head back and laughed

it was normal to laugh with him

and especially because he was so funny

he always made me feel so good

i didn't feel this way in the beginning

but now, it was heaven being near him

i closed my eyes and imagined being with him

then, back to reality

we had serious business between us

he knew something about how i felt about him and me him

but there were things we couldn't resolve

i looked into his eyes

i was falling so madly in love with him

but he could not know

for now it would be hidden deep within my soul

I like you, i like you alot, he said

i smiled. it would have to do for now..

worth the wait

i could not think, for every emotion inside of me was giddy

he stood not one inch from me and seemed to not have a care as he laughed and talked about some sort of nonsense

if you asked me what it was, I will not ever remember as I just kept gazing into his eyes, those deep lovely, story-telling brown eyes...

he was very excited and seemed somewhat animated and don't know if that was because of his closeness to me or just an inner happiness that came upon him...

i leaned in slightly closer to him, and now i could actually feel the electricity between us, as we laughed and jostled for the perfect spot

he glanced forward and looked directly into my face, my eyes, as we laughed and i knew that given the right opportunity this would end another way

i swooned inside like a little girl; i was the rag doll being thrown about by every emotion

and then, the most tell-tale of signs, he went looking back and forth between my eyes and searching for something as his eyes made it slowly down my face..... and finally settling on my lips....

and at that moment i have no idea what our conversation was but we were like poetry just ebbing and flowing and laughing and i could see words coming from our mouths but never knew what the hell we were saying

we were on a ship, not being able to steer ourselves, but being thrown about by the ocean, as if we had no control

and as as I say, had it been the right time, i know i would have grabbed him for I wanted to or he me...

he dwelled there for awhile on my lips, as if they were a luscious basket of fruit

what was I to do?

but i did not budge my position and moved closer ....

that first kiss, that slight, ever so parting of the lips that one does when one wants to kiss someone and ever so lightly as to not let them think that you want any part of them other then a kiss...

that first kiss that opens the door for...well, so much more....

that first kiss would have to wait....

it had to be very very special, not just carelessly given away...

i leaned back and laughed and he watched me and did not lose his gaze

not this time,

another day

very special things are worth the wait

jealousy

jealousy

makes us act funny

makes us not look at her in the eyes

makes us embarrassed because how could I be jealous, I have no right to be

but I am, and I feel so stupid about it

makes him say dumb things, "I'm going to a party on Friday and I'm gonna' get ripped.."

makes me want to cry

makes me angry and foolish

makes us over-react and makes us hate

makes him treat me like shit

makes us confused and mixed up

makes me want more

makes us wonder why

makes me afraid I may lose him

jealousy