I am nothing without you

I am parched and like the 

lonely dove cries in the night

I ask you wait

wait for me

A Difficult Decision

I tried to say no

but the words wouldn't come

all I could do was stumble

on my tongue

I pushed you away and

turned to let go

but you grabbed me 

from behind

and said

they don't need to know

it had been awhile 

since you said it was over

I never stopped crying

I never wanted to be sober

I dreamed of your touch and

if we'd ever be together again

I couldn't trust you anymore

and never knew where you'd been

and now here you were

wanting me back like before

you said you were sorry

realized what you had done even more

I loved you so much

my troubled life so unkind

I struggled to be with you

wanting so badly 

for you to be the one

now here we stand

both broken in two

you reach out to me

and I ask myself

will I ever get over

wanting you

only once in our lives 

do we ever get a second chance

maybe it is time for us

and not just another

happenstance

If there is an answer 

for all what we've been through

then my heart 

is singing to me now

and once again

I can't help but

 choose 

you...

August 2015

Then I'll Know....

Not by what you say

if I thought that, for sure, I'd think 

I was the smelly fish water

your cat just had

Not by what you say

or I'd think you hate

me with the passion one

hates the guy who just

took the last 

cigarette

No, not that way at all

or I'd think I was the

dirty mat you wiped 

your muddy boots on 

after a rainstorm...

But by the way you look

at me, I see

the love in your eyes that

you have for me

no matter how hard you try

to hide it from me

And by the little things you do

like offering your meal to me

and helping me to make it

just right and

eating together like

the old married couple around

the corner

Then there are the times you let me know

when there is trouble ahead

when the road is gonna

be bumpy and 

and you try to protect me

In those ways, I know, 

and not long from here, in 

another time, you'll

decide that you 'd rather

be with me then 

without and 

you'll come back

you will

and just by the way you

kiss me

then I'll know..

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes

I see us walking side by side

I see your eyes loving and looking at

every part of my face

my eyes, my lips,

as I am loving looking

back, at every part

of yours

When I close my eyes

I feel your heart beating

against mine

as you press up 

against me

beating with passion

I feel so loved

and wanted and loved

When I close my eyes

I see your skin, so brown

I see every hair

dancing across your face

your lips,

every line

every flaw

I see your eyes and they

are saying something beautiful

and sweet

When I close my eyes

June 2015

The Diary

He stood in front of me. All I wanted to do was look in his eyes and tell him, show him how much I cared. But instead I did nothing and did not even look at his handsome, beautiful face.

Instead, I walked outside and tried to get as far away as I could so I could cry forever. The worst pain I could think of was not having him in my life. Love undone is killing me.

When he looks at me, it's with disdain as if it were my fault that he fell in love with me and we, we could never be. Is it my fault that he'll love me until the bitter, last breath, dying end? Or that he'll live in this limbo with me unable to see where we're going nor him either as we tumble down the rabbit hole wondering if we'll ever find our sanity, if we'll ever touch the ground again.

I could sink into his beautiful eyes and stay there forever.

I've fallen somehow, can't find my feet, can't find the ground. Lost forever. I still think of him and wonder if it will ever end.. 

May 2015

The Summer House

It's the way we were

on that lovely day

that I was so inclined to think

there would never be another way

sun dancing 'cross the water

dipping in the sand

you and I together walking 

hand in hand

You were happy then

our dreams built on so much hope

go ahead and lie to me now

now that your gone and I've

nothing left to cope

I dream of those days

and wish somehow I could

bring them back again

but the good memories fade

and I am reminded

that was when

We lived there - 

on the most deserted beach

that summer house

and you and me ~

May 2015

Surprise

Your fingers running

through my hair

a kiss on my back

not quite so bare

who would have thought

you'd even dare

to realize the one

so fair

and then begin

a love affair

February  2015

A Passage of Time

It's December

I'm so drawn to you

even after

it's been six months

and then yesterday

did I dream

you wrapped your arms around me

held me so tight

I kissed your cheek

you tell me no

and

I let go

but you grab

me again

I can no longer

pretend

I tell you

it's not over

and you just

don't want to stop

it's been since when

you can't get away

I'll see it to

the end

It's December

January 2015