it was just that ever so slight, little slip that let her know
he was taken.
her heart sunk as she tried to make sense of it all
but her mind was jumbled, nothing was coming together
he was talking to her and she couldn't hear him
Then she stood up and announced , "I'm going to faint".
the regurgitated food had already made it's way to her throat
she gagged and then she felt the world spin
NO, she screamed in her mind
don't let this be happening to me
she struggled to keep her balance and not throw up
her thoughts racing, how could I not know this??
She tried to go back and remember little things
clues or stories; anything that he said that would give her
some indication that he was ......
and before she knew it, tears had come and slowly made
their way down her cheeks
I'm a real mess, she said out loud.
But he was confused..
What's wrong? he asked
Her words were like puzzles all jumbled up coming out of her mouth
I need to go now. I need to go, I need liquor. I need to find
somewhere to get drunk, she said.
She tried to control her feelings that seemed to erupt like a volcano all over the place.
Why? Why get drunk? What's wrong? What happened?
She couldn't even answer him.
She just knew that he had not told her and made her think,
made her feel , made her want , made her believe that he wanted
her too
She bent over and put her face in her hands and cried like a baby
He tried to comfort her, but she brushed him away.
"Go", she said, "go to her...please".....she caught her breath...
"You're pathetic and a liar and
you made me think that we had something and and and...."
She stood up.
And, I'm done. Go find someone else who will love you and cherish you and
sleep with you and give you all of their everything and then find out that
this whole time you were sleeping with .....
Go! she screamed.
He got up from the bench and couldn't even look at her.
she sat back down and cried like she never had cried before
she cried for every passionate kiss they ever had
and everything that she had given him
she cried so hard she fell onto the grass and laid
with the bugs and cried out loud, staring at the sky
while the tears ran down her face and watered the dry ground
when she was done it was dark
she would walk home and then she would pick up the phone
and ask him to come back. And he would.
And she would cry again, in his arms
because love is not simple it's complicated....
And even though it seemed they had come to an understanding
he would leave her once again.
and it would be the way it was....
May 20, 2013
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