More than what we bargained for..

my hope is almost gone

while I watch the vultures

ponce upon

my heart is torn to bits

my spirit, lost it's wits

and every step I take away

I miss you more and more

we sat upon the shore

albeit ready to leap,

ready to soar

but it was not for you or I 

to know

the indeterminate amount of love

that we would lose
and yet abhor
 not knowing
was part of our folk lore

I lay my head upon your shoulder

 we nestle in your bed

you and I together

I loved you from 

my lows, we innocents 

in the throws
of something

so the story goes

there was love in your

eyes and hope in the smallest

of our woes

It's been months

since we watched 

the bitter unfold

I couldn't give it anymore

for somehow we knew this was 

lost upon

that shore

They've come to 

take my love from me now

 fading fast as if

it never mattered anyhow

 collapsing on 

the both of us

somehow you 

took my heart and 

and I took yours
every step I take now 

I look over my shoulder
to see you turn around
and then I know
because what we
have is
way more then ever
what
we bargained for....

October 2014

I do the Normal

I'm okay, I tell my self on a day

to day basis

I do the normal

go to work, wash my hair,

and drive my car...

but when I see you

something happens to me

Each day that passes from

that day you told

me we're through,

I'm such a tiny bit

better and such a good liar

 I do the normal

go to the store

wash my clothes and

brush my hair

but when you walk into

the room, something

happens to me

it's the way you look

or how you tip your head

the swagger in your walk

or your every day down

to business way

your eyes that search

for mine or

your skin like caramel

on a Sunday afternoon

it's the tone in 

your voice and

your smile that 

lights up my life

and no matter when or what

you're coming or

going

I get that feeling inside and

not a single soul will

ever take it away

And the normal becomes

me and when I

dream, you're there

every minute, every day

loving me loving you

  

I know some day this 

will come to the end

of something more glorious then

I could ever imagine and I

will die just a little more inside

but for now

I won't be letting you go

not in a million years

as I do my normal

as I love you 

when you walk 

into a room

let go never

never in a million years would I have 

dreamed of loving you 

longing for that secret moment

that we would share in

the darkest part

of never and then wanting 

it  forever

 everything is gone and  

what part of me here is

for you will I 

never be the way

we could ever be when 

all is put upon the edge

small bits erode

of what is left

And yet, my heart cries out

for you and all your

alone with me with 

only me

I find you there somewhere

you cry about her

and hurt what's left

of us that we could be

not ever in the

midst of this

catastrophe

I touch your face 

your lips on mine

my hand in yours

but I can't cry

anymore for you

and we cannot be

this disaster in among

the rubble of 

broken souls and smashed hearts

I live for you

in my heart you

can't touch

Don't tell me you don't want me

or that you never cared

I saw you in the darkness

I saw you, my friend

 the least that you could do

admit that you
wanted me

then bid me adeus 

tell me that it's over 

tell me that it's over

and hold me 

until eternity sets upon

I buried my mind where

my love has gone

and you took it like

I meant nothing whilst

I hung on

like a sparrow in the wind

I finally let you go, my friend

and wouldn't you know
it was you who
wanted me more
then and
it was you who couldn't let go
in the end......

August 2014. one year

The Law of Love

He walks in that circle now
the one where he thinks he sees all
judging as he goes along, making
decisions, throwing out arbitrarily what
he doesn't want to know
making his new laws....

He can't talk to me now
never enough time or enough
wanting to, or desire and he doesn't
think he can even like me, never
again love me, as the business
of right & wrong
takes over

He glances back, being careful not to
let me see, checking where he's been and
not and wondering only what could be
and where we're not.

He walks in that circle now
the one where he thinks he sees all
but doesn't know the
difference between make-believe
and real, yet he runs
and doesn't fall, making new laws
but he really doesn't see
at all.

He glances back,
pretending he doesn't see
I catch him
he catches me...
but he doesn't see
he just doesn't see



August 2014

Lovers

It's cruel to think that my heart

belongs to someone

I can't have

It's so cruel that I'm left

behind in this shadow

that you walked in

me alone in a desperate

place, hiding myself

pretending i'm not here

or there or anywhere

And you, across the room

burdened with our secrets

never to be shared

and I still can't have you

There are times late at night

my heart broken tears that

wet my pillow

knowing that you feel the same

only brings me round again

in those places

lonely and longing

It's cruel to think that my heart

belongs to someone 

I can't have

a life we'll never share

our love brings

only hate to bare

you reach for me,

just one more time

this time

I promise

I will let you go

only if you say so

you whisper in my ear,

never never
and on and on
it goes


July 2014

        http://gbanni.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

Untold

What if I fall in love

let it go

let him know

What if I let it show

What if the sky falls

and the sun don't

come out at all

Will that be all that's known

the end, finish;  a love story untold..

What if I fell for you

what would you do

the skies opened up

and the whole world

felt it too

What would you do

if you knew all 

my love was for you

and it was honest and true

shall I let it go

let him know

it's a love story untold.

June 1, 2014

Creases and Shadows

It's been three days,

or three months

or three of something

that I haven't seen you

and wish that I could

or that I wish you would

and it's breaking me to pieces

It's that time that we spent

in the small and the

lent that

won't let me forget

how much and 

yet

I wish I could

love you

I'm trying to say  hello and

hoping that you'll know

Love is so hard

when you're in

the throws

and it's not your time

or your place 

and you pretend to

be another 

so and so

But there is no one

but you

in the shadows and

creases 

Each day I'm waiting

and I fall to pieces

Today I saw you

and a whisper in my ear

I felt you oh so near

tell me please

when can we and

when it it our time

or is it just something

I want to hear

It'd been three days

and three months and

then some but

time has stopped as

nothing makes sense

this thing has

become us

I reach for you

you touch me too

Would you know

what I want

to tell you

I feel your breath

upon my neck

and I can't say no

please

don't make me say no

in the creases and shadows

I can't let you go

not ever

no

May 2014