If

I wish I could write
one more day, one more hour,
one more minute, one more time
about you

you give me strength to be me
to see that I am who I see
you make me feel the reality
and that life is a duality. 

If I had one more day, with you
your beautiful face,
your skin so perfect
I want to touch it
I want to scrunch it
I want to love it like

If I could sing that song of us

that comes along in a great surprise
and catches us off so off but not quite
I would then sing that song
to you

If I could write just one more second, one more
minute, one more day it would all be
about you......



February 2020

Everything...

There was everything about you but
now you're gone. Every inch of you
that's in this song. Loving you was
always right
wanting you all day
 and night
everything about you
now you're gone

There was not a thing that I was unsure of
not a day that I didn't want you more of
not a minute
how did we stray
not a night I , we didn't stay
together we became so very sure of


There was everything about you
 that I wanted in this song
everyday loving you
made us so strong
and there was everything about you
that belonged
but everything about you that was wrong

August 26, 2019

But there was  everything about you
every day without you
every day I longed for
couldn't live without you
every day I loved you
now you're gone...….

this ~

But life is funny,

you must admit

we never know what it is

until this......

February 2019

December

I tell you
it's not over
you can't get away
just yet,
it may be time
to take cover

I'll see it to the end


It's December.

December 2017

Losing Me

You're losing me
like leaves falling from a tree
you don't see
all the things you mean to me

yeah, you're losing me
it's plain and simple
why can't you see
that if a thousand if's
was meant to be
then that is all what you wanted
from me

and  that's why you're losing me
no time to say goodbye or
go away
no time to hurt each other
or be lead a stray

yeah, you're losing me.....
can't you see
the leaves falling from the tree
my love still burning endlessly

but still losing me









December 2017

my baby

They're killing my baby. I
imagine what she looks like.
She has pretty little wisps of
hair. She's so cuddly cute,
adorable. Her little voice
tells me she's so past what
I see to fall in love with.
I want to hold her and pick
her up. As the days and weeks
go by I hear her growing. Today
she was angry. She has a temper.
She yells and screams and then
someone picks her up. Right
away because how could they
let my angel cry. Not ever.
I realize that maybe there is
more then one person because
sometimes I hear her talk as
she is getting on in months.
But when she cries, I think,
they're killing my baby! I finally figured it
out. She is down, across the way from
us, down a pathway of apartments
that lead into the alley and the
street. Somewhere in the middle
is my adorable. I hear her. Especially
on the weekends. I imagine her
parents. She must be at least one
year now.  And then one day, I am
walking up to my building, when
I see the cutest baby in the arms
of a nice young tattooed body of
a man. My baby has a sucker and she's in
a dress. He holds her proudly. And she
is happy. And there,getting out of the car is mom!
She has long hair, with colors in it
like purple and she's pretty, just like
my baby. Now I know. They smile at
me as I walk by.  I guess they're not
killing my baby. They love my baby!
Because I can tell, they love her.
Everyday she is talking and growing,
But oh no, just one cry, if I just hear
 one cry and if they don't come for her
 right away.....
I can't stand to hear. I don't ever want
to think....
One day I shall meet them, really meet
them and tell them what I know about
my baby, my baby
my adorable baby....




March 3017

day 1000

it's been three years
and everything was good,
so good. I never thought
we would come to this day
not the way I felt. I never felt
this way, no really.

day 1000 is the same as day
one. I remember that first kiss
and what you said and how I
felt and where it was and afterwards.
I remember thinking that something
really special was happening. monumental.

and it was. I imagine leaving in your car,
actually you driving me somewhere
because we never did that. I imagine
dinner out, together, eating somewhere
because that never happened. I imagine
an actual date, a dirty night out.
We dance. I imagine your pretty car
wrapped around me. I like the way it feels.
there's that smell of clean leather, because
you rub it down. there's the dark windows
and no one can see us stealing kisses. Because
that never happened.

But I did see you smile at me, so gorgeous. Your
smile lighting up my soul. your eyes
dancing around my face. your eyes telling
me you love me. I think, it was real. It felt
real.  Were you not all in?
Did you just pretend?

And all of the times, we would steal
moments, little bits of pleasure away
from everyone and just hold each other
 and think if only things would have or
could have been
different that maybe we had met
in some other place and time, then
maybe there could really be an us.

because how could you just throw
us away? after three years and now
now when I need you most... just
a hug made me feel better on most days.
if I feel this way, then what about you?
you must not have felt this way because
I don't know how you could have
just thrown us away.

it's been three years and I don't know
what's real or pretend anymore....  and the
thought of you just won't go away ...
Just 1000 days and it feels like yesterday...


march, 2017