Chapter 4 - The Flu

She had gotten terribly sick before the Xmas Party. Seems a flu bug had been passed around and of course, it was her turn now. She thought this would be a great excuse to miss it. But then, she knew she would still have to go.

She arrived late, as always, hoping no one would notice her sneaking in. But they were all sitting around one big table, like one happy family and of course, Oh, there she is!! She sat down and tried to assimilate as the festivities had already began. But she was too miserable to even entertain the thought that this was fun.

They all had some dinner, consisting of hamburgers and fries and then headed off to play games. Liz got up from the table, and never speaking a word, wondered around like a lost deer. Everyone else seemed to be having a blast.

A group of co-workers passed by and tried to grab her up as they did, but she didn't want to go. She shuffled around and then found a corner to sit in.

It was then she noticed Ramiro. He was driving some racing game and he was all into it. He swerved and just as if he was really driving a car, he scooted all over the seat. At the end, he fell off. She laughed out loud. He turned around and saw her.

"Funny, huh?"

"Yeah, you lost?"

"No! I won!!"

He laughed and then motioned for her to come. She shook her head no. He shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk away. It was then she noticed him, for the first time in months. He had on black tennis shoes, not a speck of dirt of them. He also had on jeans, way too tight and a black turtle neck. He looked good. He looked really good. She looked at him again. He was short but something about him, confidence, made him seem taller. She thought about him for a moment. How did she not notice him before?

Then her mind wondered elsewhere as she hoped she could sneak away from this god awful party as soon as no one could see her.  It was only 9 pm, when she arrived home and dragged herself to her room where she flopped on her bed.

Again

I fold the clothes

press the corners

turn the sleeves

let it go

Dust the shelves

clean the vases

arrange the flowers

let it flow

See the sunlight

on the glass

as I wash

see your face

in every minute

I'm alone

search my mind

find my place

Day moves on

and night has come

I breath it in

it fills my lungs

I shut the window

fix the pillows

close my eyes

make a choice

time has come

only shadows
fill the void

all alone


once again

 I

    hear your voice....

February 15, 2013

ramblings and meaningless words: V DAY

ramblings and meaningless words: V DAY: Valentine's Day What a lot of crock. Anything to swindle us consumers out of our hard earned... and here we are, falling for it lik...

V DAY

Valentine's Day

What a lot of crock. Anything to swindle us consumers out of our hard earned... and here we are, falling for it like it's real and all that. We deserve to be swindled. It's supposed to be a day of love, sweet sweet love. 

 Show your loved one what they mean to you on this one day.

THIS above all other days in the whole year, this day to show them your undying love in a 

box of chocolates or a handful of balloons...all wrapped up forever and ever 

until next year, when it will be time to do it all over again. UGH.

Millions of cash spent on this ONE DAY!

Suck it up people,  we do it every year!

As a kid, I was smart enough not to buy into the BS. But, it didn't stop me from getting emotional

about it. V Day. My friends, acquaintances, all getting flowers, cards and balloons, except

me. I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not even a card on my porch from a lowly 
stranger who felt the same way about it as I?
 V Day sucked. 

I attributed this dry period to not really having a boyfriend directly at the time V Day was. I vowed one day

to cause my friends to go into a Dry V Day, wherein I received all the accolades of undying

love, hoisted upon me tenfold. Therefore leaving them with the emptiness I 

felt all those years. Pay back's a bitch. 

Then, of course, in reality I get married and for years and years, Valentines galore. Flowers, cards, chocolate, 

sexy nighties, dinners, porn...

yep, it was all there on Valentines. 

Great, good. I'm so happy.

But then, I always said, "it's not about the day...it's about the thought..every day should be

Valentine's Day!!!"

yeah. 

Fast forward to now. Once again, I am reminded of the teen years when I felt so left out. 

I approached today with trepidation. I did not plan and did not expect. 

I told my co-workers my real feelings... every day should be about 

loving and caring for one another. And my final word was,

 " all I ever wanted for

V day was someone saying to me, here, I am yours for V day and 

everyday for the rest of your life..". 

The best Valentine ever!!

Right!

Right?

Happy V Day everybody.

Hoping for something more meaningful next year... fat chance.

The One

When I saw you at the

drugstore

and you looked

at me twice

I knew we'd be

together and

I knew you'd

be nice

You tried not to

fall and I

tried not to catch

you but you

fell anyway

and I knew

she would let

you

So I tried to stay

cool and not

give it away that

I wanted you 

more
each and
every day

But I know

now it was

wrong and we

held on too long

me wanting more

and you only
wanting to end
the war

And in spite of the

fighting, in spite

of the truth, we held on
together and
we held on
for us and
I wished for a song
something to
believe in and
something to be strong

But she couldn't let go

and neither could I

I guess in the long

run

it was her or I

So, I gave up my heart

and I gave up

my dream

of you and I together

it was not what it seemed

and I remembered

when I met you

that day in

the drugstore,

I knew

I would love you

I knew I 

couldn't let go.....

Too Good To Be True

Too good to be true

is the way I felt

about you

everyday a

dream come true

somehow

you were enchanting

and romantic and

it was

all new

I could not

resist

you

And, it was the

best I ever had

your kisses so

sweet, so soft 

made me

so glad

your arms

that loved me

protecting us from

the storm, holding on

while the world

fell around us

we were

re-born

Too good to be true

and everyday

that I loved you

I knew it

was just a 

dream come true

and tried not to

think of 

the ending it

would come to

And then I saw

you

struggling with 

what you heard and

what you knew

and then just as 

sure as we were 

our love was true

it was over 

for me and you

too good to be true

is the way 

I felt about you

but I didn't stop

loving you

no

I never stopped

loving you

Third Time Charmer

Something about the first time

and being it was

mind blowing and

crushing me

as my heart sank 

well I never

saw the 

second time

coming

it was then,

after the first time, that I

decided not

to play that

game

while I was trying

not to cry

as each day

dragged slowly by

so dumb I was 

thinking you were

coming back 

and when you

did, I tried

I tried to

get out of

my head

But when the second time

came rolling through

your heart

being so untrue

and me 

falling down

once again

not knowing if

I would ever get up

again

I cried until

my tears were

dry 

then you showed

up, the second time

 at my door

that was when

And now, I carry

my heart

as it is so

heavy because they

say

the third time

is a charm

now, after

you said goodbye

what am I

what am I

what am I

I'm the

third time

charmer

broken down

and feelin'

like I could

die....