Like Flowers to Rain

How long do I have to wait
will it be forever - is that our
fate? Or are we just doomed
is it too late...
how long do I just ignore
the signs...
how long do I wait..

I keep asking myself, why am
I still here
feeling like every
moment is another year
wanting you to just be near
why am I still here

how long does my heart have to ache
while you play me for a fool,
like it's just a mistake
trying not to get wrapped into
who gives and who takes
how long does my heart have to ache

I'm all alone, waiting for you
and I can't believe that it's not true
that the love we've been feeling is
all sordid and that we're through
I'm still all alone, waiting for you

I need you now, like the flowers
to rain
I need you now, my love,
through my sorrow and pain
I need you to tell me that
we'll try once again, oh darlin',
I need you now like flowers
to rain

How long do I wait for you
so much love that I have and
my feelings so true,
I love you darlin' and can't
think of life without you,
So why do I still wait for you...
because I still love and
cherish you
And if you asked me tomorrow
what would I do, I would tell
you,
Like flowers to the rain, I will
always need you...



A Lovely August Day, 2013

She Will She Will

Did I see something in the way
you looked at her; a sparkle in your
eye that I had not seen before
did I did I

Could I be imagining that you and I are
finally alone and free, running like
the wind towards each other
and not afraid to feel what we feel
could I could I

Or am I just hanging on to something
I thought we could be, hoping that
you'll see me, standing here, like her and
wanting you more and more each day.
am I am I

what are we if we have nothing
between us as we search the days
looking for the love we want to share
what are we if we have nothing
but emptiness and a broken heart
that is all but that we have to compare ...

Did I see something in the way
you looked at her, a sparkle in
your eye, a smile turned a bit shy,
Did I see you stop and stare
only wishing that she care...
Did you tell her she looked nice
today, did you tell her just a little
somethin' more, something she
could take away .....from
someone she might adore....

Well, I've not seen that look, before from
you and want you to know that
was me looking back at you....and now
I know how you feel, can't hide it
anymore... you made me see,
you did  you did

Did I see a sparkle in your eye
when you looked at her, did she
tell you that she loved you and
for your love she would die.....

She will she will



Beautiful August, 2013

Code of Silence

we pass each other like strangers
you nod and then I nod back
as if a code of silence has taken us
and words are measured and kept
count of to be used against us
at a later time ...

I look for something in your eyes
a glint, or sparkle,  that tells me you
still feel the same.. but all I get is
a glance and then you look away and
I'm left with nothing but the calculating
nod....

I pretend the day is good to me
watching the clock and talking
about things that do not let me think and
that are not too deep or profound
or God forbid thoughts should wander in
my head and I think about nothing
but you instead....

but I'm lost and alone and don't
know what you're thinking or
why you're so polite and say,
"thank you" twenty times to me
or " take care of yourself" at the
end of the day; as if I were
the janitor.

I don't know if this is on purpose
or just out of spite or that we
lost our way or that we had
a fight
I don't know why I hurt so bad
inside and cannot tell you that
in spite of what you said I'm
not still mad...

and then another day goes by
and all I want to do is remember
the way it was and not think
about the way it is or how we
got here... I can't imagine any
more like this or this way I can't
imagine that you're still making
me pay...

when you used to say my name
it rang like bells in the air and
you said it over and over as if
your love was wrapped up in it
  ....and maybe it still is
but it's beginning to be another
dreadfully painful day
and no more then a sentence or
two about coffee and something
about the gum stuck on the
bottom of my shoe

but you didn't nod today, thank God,
 and I think I heard you say my name
under your breath when you
walked away, you whispered it
 low and my heart slowed
as I turned towards you but
you were already gone....

maybe tomorrow you'll say something
more  ..maybe tomorrow you'll want to
tell me what has happened to us and
me and you and why I'm
talking to the walls when I should
be talking to you...

and maybe tomorrow, we'll have
another answer for this wretched
web we're in...this quagmire of
illusion, this romantic confusion ...the
way it all fits together yet pulls us
apart...so complicated and yet
simple...

until then, I won't wait for you
in the morning dew, I won't kiss
you softly when the day is through
I won't look for you, or wait to
hear you call my name, I won't
wait for the silence to end...
But maybe somewhere, sometime
we can see this thing through
open up our hearts and
meet and start
anew

until then.....




July 2013

ramblings and meaningless words: Love At All Cost

ramblings and meaningless words: Love At All Cost: It's not what you saw or seen it's not what you had in your head it's never the way it seems at times it seems all but dead ...

Love At All Cost

It's not what you saw or seen
it's not what you had in your head
it's never the way it seems
at times it seems all but dead

love is not easy like that
nor is it something to find
it's more like a symphony
the building of a beautiful music kind

Even if your heart takes for granted
all the love that you gave
your head will try to warn you
make sure you're well aware....

and just when you think you have it
could be just your state of mind
of a love lost forlorn soul
that sees all but the truth he finds

For love is the greatest illusion,
yet is honest and real
but try to put it in a bottle
it becomes all so surreal

then watch it slip through your fingers
as it makes it way to your heart
and forms a perfect arrow
that gives you a painful start

it's not what she says
it's not what he does
it's not how you feel
it's not what it was

it's not tears that you cry
makes you want to lay down and die
it's not gut-wrenching hurt that you feel
makes you wish for your last meal

it's tearing and ripping your soul into two
it's shredding your heart and
makes you feel like the only fool
it's wishing for more and never wanting it to end
it's loving him more then you could ever pretend

what is love
is it all what we know
can we find it in you
is it something to bestow
do we learn it from heaven
our hearts overflow
did I take it for granted
did you think I too slow
Did we not reach for the highest
and fall short our grasp
did we not love from the farthest
and let go of our past.......

Did I forget where I was
did you allow me to be lost
did you measure my words
Did you love me at all costs......



July 2013

I Got You

I see you sitting across from me,
with all your confidence and bravado
poking fun at me and making me
feel quite stupid for the dumb
stuff I said about you. I watch you
as you pull your head back and
stroke your neck, and then you look at
me sideways cocking your head
You think I don't know what's in
your mind and you think you have
me fooled that you're not that into me
as you casually laugh and then stare
at me as if you could see right through..

When you walk into the room, you
look around to see whose
watching you saunter over but you never
catch me looking at you as you try to find
me first but don't want me to know because
you don't want anyone to know... yet how
is it that everyday, you look for me and
wait for me, and measure my every step
as I approach you only to give me
that big welcoming smile...and then walk
away... pretending not to see

You just keep on pretending honey
and you keep playing your games
I'll keep on walking and talking your
same old same old same... because
you hide it well my friend, but I
see straight through you...
You trying to tease me about this boy
and that guy don't think I don't know
you just want me to say how
I'm head over heels for you

And every day, when we see each other
you wait for me while pretending to be
interested in something else when all
you really want is to get near me. I know
 how much you want me
to be alone with me, to casually
adore me while making no commitments
on your part because you don't want
me to know that you can't stop yourself....

I already know all this as you sit there
across from me, making faces and
judging what I say, all cocky and
resolute. Thinking that your flattering me
with your meer presence. Thinking that I don't
know the fact that you got it bad
baby and after putting me through all
this, if you think  I'm going to let you
down easily, you got a lot more thinking
to do...


You must understand, the way this
works, you so busy over there avoiding
me, but looking for me, running towards
me, yet running away. You must think
I'm crazy that I don't see you falling
every minute of every day...  You
must think I'm lost and all alone, well
baby I got you, I got you good. And
I'm the only one who knows..

One of these days, I'll catch you
off guard, when you're trying so hard to
look away, only I'm going to surprise you with
something you never thought I'd do
and then we'll see what happens.
 You think you got me fooled,
but the only one you're foolin' is you...
because I got you babe, I got your
heart right here and there's no way I'm letting
go...

I see you sitting there, so strong and sweet
when I look into your eyes, I see how
much you care... you may think you have me
and maybe you do, but I know I got you,
I got you too. We pretend every day
and I kind of  like that too. But there's no
one for me other then you.

You and me
playing this game, learning so much about you
and you learning too...
I see you watchin' me, making me
feel so good. I see you and
I know it's for real...just as long as I got you
I know we'll be okay because
it's not just this and that
it's so much more and I
all I know is
I love you....
and I got you good.

 



July 2013

Breathe You In

I am so lost right now and
my mind is so confused the
one thing I thought was real and
true, doesn't seem to be there
I miss you

I try to remember the curve of
your smile when you liked what
I said and it brings me back to
where we were... yesterday
I'm so strung out on you

All the things I said I
meant and everything I did, I
did for us you were always
on my mind and in my heart
and I can't stop thinking
about you

oh how a weakness comes
over me, I want to see you wherever
you are, I want to hear your voice making me
melt like ice cream on a hot summer day
your arms so strong around me
you whisper in my ear and I
breathe you in......

I feel your touch, oh so soft
on my leg as you move me closer
and take my face in your
hands kissing my eyes and nose and
inch your way down my neck and I
I take a deep breath and ....
breath you in...

Baby, you have to believe that our
love comes along once in a life time
not for those who don't care or for
those who don't know how to love
again,  and
even though you're not with me
now, just know that I love you
every part of you;  and I'm sorry for
what I said and what I did
and all I want to do
is just....
breath you in
again  .......



July 2013