I'm not blaming anyone. It's just how the day started. I'm already in a place on Friday that I would rather not be. But, there I was, early and in my sanctuary. I was even anticipating my day...wishing....day dreaming, while I gingerly applied my eye liner on my lower lid and then there it was. A banging on the door that made me yell, "shit!" I jumped and every bit of the contents of my makeup bag fell into the sink.
There was not a peep outside the door. I grabbed my stuff and shoved it into my purse, put my ear up to the door. Nothing. I opened it very slowly. Who knows what or who was on the other side. All the way open, silence.
I stepped out of the bathroom and walked around. There he was, standing with his back to me, around the corner.......
I knew it...
"Well, good morning to you!" I said loud and clear. But he just stood there. For a moment I thought about him just standing there.
It was like this often.
I turned around and went to get coffee. When I came back, he was gone. Five minutes later he was back , animated and teasing me.
"Guess who made the coffee?"
"Um, let me guess.... it wasn't me... I make horrible coffee according to you."
"That's right, you do! Now, this coffee is good. Tell me it's not good."
I took a sip.
"Strong... too strong.." I made a face and put it down.
"See. I told you," he says as a matter of fact, "it's still better than yours...." He takes a sip of his coffee and pretends to be serious.
"I don't think so. I think it's like mud. I'm going to throw mine out." I pretend to get up.
We laugh because this is how our day goes, like the coffee, our day could be good or bad, busy or slow and always like a roller coaster.
When I went outside a few minutes later he's hollering at me.
"What are you doing out here? You need to get inside."
"Don't tell me what to do. You don't know what I do."
"I do know what you do. I saw you over there, peering around corners, looking for me..."
"Hell no. You must be stalking me, because I wasn't looking for you....." I giggle.
He laughs. I know I have him now.
"It's time for you to recognize..." I yell at him as I turn to go inside.
He laughs again.
"Hey, why don't you find something to do. I know you have plenty of work." He's at my desk now.
"Shut up. You just don't stop!" I look up at him, smiling down at me.
"No, and I never will. Just do your work and we'll get along...." His eyes sparkle and I see something in him. Something we share.
He lowers his voice...."Memories" he says, he touches the arm of my chair, being careful not to touch me.
I smile.
Yes, we have them. I want to touch his hand, but I don't.
He turns and walks away.
And now, I have a lot to do. But first, I day dream about something, still haunts me as we do this sort of dance every day. It is in this that I feel some sort of hope.....
Some days are harder then the others. Maybe today we'll decide to give it another try.... maybe not. At any rate,we have what we have for now....it's better than nothing...
What if I fall in love